What Women Know ...about health

I was over 50 before I learned that my body is smarter than I am, knows much better what is and isn’t good for me, and responds more authentically and quickly than ever I can. However, I was several years older before I really began to listen to what it tells me.
And I don’t seem to be alone. Because more and more women are telling their stories, I am learning that many of our bodies have ways of telling us when to extend a hand, when to notice that something isn’t right for us, when to step away from a situation, when to set a boundary.
Just as there are various ways that we each have positive physical reactions when we’ve met someone’s needs without condition or been of service when it’s really needed, I’m beginning to understand that we can each have our own physical reaction to people and situations that have the potential of being toxic for us.
My body’s signal begins with a slight queasiness, which often gets worse before I consciously recognize it. Lately, I’ve gotten better at responding to the sensation early enough to do something about whatever is causing it before I’m too far into a situation to get out easily and before I’ve done myself or anyone else any real damage, for which I’m increasingly grateful.
But that hasn’t always been the case. I was 15 when I first began dating my former husband. A bit sooner than the appropriate length of time designated by our culture for such a thing, he kissed me. At the time, I was surprised that he had moved so “fast” and thought that the sick feeling in the pit of my stomach was due to his breaking the “rules.” That queasiness, however, was strong enough for me to “drop” him. Over the next six years, that scenario played out over and over again, until in the seventh year, the queasiness disappeared, I fell in love, and I married him.
Over the next 30 years, I ignored, denied, ate something, quit eating, and kept really busy in order to fight the sporadic bouts of nausea, which after five years were most often directly related to my discovering yet another one of his affairs. Looking back on that part of my life now, I can see that if I had been willing to put all those occurrences together rather than package them up individually and shelve them away where I wouldn’t have to deal with them, I would have learned to listen to my body way before my 50th year.
I now see the queasiness as my body telling me that I was about to be knocked away from my centre onto uneven, unstable ground where I wouldn’t be able to keep my balance, that my instability and vulnerability would bring on nausea as the toxicity of the situation got worse and worse.
For a close relative of mine, her body’s early warning system is a lump forming in her throat; for one friend, it’s a headache caused by a muscle tightening in her left shoulder; for another, a cold sore on her lip. Of course, there are physiological explanations for all of our reactions and ways of treating them medically and psychologically. What I know is that it is important for me to trust that my body will tell me when I need to pay attention, to recognize the message quickly, and to work with my body to overcome, eliminate, or avoid whatever is causing the reaction.
I am incredibly grateful to be working in an environment that often gives me an opportunity to practice what I’ve learned and hopefully to continue to get better and better at walking the walk. Sue Booth Forbes